Last year when we were setting up Timothy’s IEP we had decided that he would ride on the BOCES bus to and from school, with the hopes of transitioning him to the regular bus during the school year .  A few weeks into the school year, Timothy’s teacher contacted me and let me know that she didn’t think that him riding home on the BOCES bus was working well for him, because it was making him lose an hour of school every day, since the BOCES bus left school year every day.  Timmy wasn’t ready to transition to the regular bus at that time, so I agreed to pick him up from school everyday, until he was ready to do the transition.

Two weeks ago Timmy informed me that he was ready to start riding the regular bus home from school.  I let the school know, and Timmy took that big step back onto the bus that he had been so traumatised by before.

Last week, one of the kids that had previously bullied him, was spitting on his fingers and shoving them into Timmy’s ears and mouth.  I told Timmy to make sure that he let the bus driver know.

At the end of his first week, we received a phone call from the assistant principal, stating that Timmy was bouncing from seat to seat and disturbing the bus.  As we are not a family to let our boys get away with misbehaving, we laid down the law with him.  He lost his privileges over the weekend, had to write “I will not misbehave on the bus” 50 times and had to write an apology letter to his bus driver.

Thursday I met the boys at the bottom of the driveway as they got off the bus.  We had some errands we had to run.  As soon as Timmy got into the van he started getting very upset, and looked to be on the verge of having a meltdown.  I asked him what was wrong and he told me that Josh had punched and pushed him.

I asked him to tell me exactly what happened.  “I got on the bus and there weren’t any places to sit, so I had to sit with Josh.  When I sat down, Josh told me to move.  I told him I couldn’t.  He told me to move again.  I told him no.  I didn’t want to move and get in trouble again like I did last week.  Josh punched me in the stomach.  I still wouldn’t move.  Josh punched me and punched me and punched me and punched me.  I still didn’t move.  So he shoved me out into the aisle and I bumped into Abby.  Abby yelled at him to stop it.  Niko was watching, too, and said to stop.  I told him to stop because I was going to get mad and he didn’t want to see me get mad.  Josh kept pushing me.  He was pushing me with his feet and his head and his hands.  I used my strong muscles to stay in the seat.  The punching didn’t hurt too much.  Just some.  It just scares me.  And when he pushed me out into the aisle it really scared me.”

At this point, I reminded him to practice his deep breathing, as it always seems to calm him down.  Niko chimed in at that point and told me that he had seen it all, and that Timmy was telling the truth.

I let my husband know what had happened, and he called and left a message with the school that, once again, Timmy was getting bullied on the bus.  That he wanted something down about it.  That we would be calling the police about it.

We did call the police and they came out later that night to get a statement.

The next day my husband called the busing supervisor to make sure she had gotten his message.  She did.  She stated that she had watched the video tape and that she didn’t see the boy punch Timmy, nor did she see anything else happen.  Timmy seemed fine on the video and got off the bus without looking upset.  Nothing happened.

My husband was upset, because something HAD happened, so she transferred him to the assistant principal to talk.  He left a voicemail for her.

The assistant principal called us back a little later.  She informed us that she had talked to Timmy about what had happened.  She questioned him about it, and at first he said that he was punched and pushed, but the more she questioned him, the more his story changed, until he agreed that he had been pushed, but not punched.  She told us that she told him she had seen the video and did not see him get punched.  She did see the boy push Timmy out into the aisle and make him bump into another child.  (Hmm, but the busing supervisor from earlier told us that she had watched the video and NOTHING happened).  She also told us that this was a case of the boys goofing around, and that Timmy had pushed the boy back at one point, so they were both at fault.  The end.  She said that it was obvious that nothing had happened to hurt Timmy, because Timmy did not show any emotion about it on the bus.  He didn’t seem distraught or crying or anything…. therefore he was not really hurt.  We did tell her “You do realize he is Autistic, right?  He shows no emotion and then has a meltdown later when he feels he is in a safe place to do so.”  She ignored that.  She informed us that he could go back to riding the BOCES bus.  We told her that his teacher felt he was missing too much school by riding the BOCES bus, and he shouldn’t have to miss an hour of school everyday because the school wouldn’t protect him.  She informed us that they were, and that she would forward our complaint on to the superintendent.

When Timmy got home he told us that she had taken him into a room by himself and she told him that she had watched the video and that he wasn’t punched on the video.  She told him that he WAS NOT bullied, and that this was just goofing around.  He says “So I wasn’t punched and I wasn’t bullied.”  I said, “Ok.  Is that how you feel?”  He said, “Well she said I wasn’t punched and I wasn’t bullied.”  Me “Were you punched?”  Him “Yes, but she says I wasn’t and I wasn’t bullied.”  Me “Ok, but were you punched?”  Him “Yes”.  Me “Did you feel scared?”  Him “Yes”.  Me “Did you feel like you were being bullied?”  Him “Yes.  But I guess I was wrong about it all, because she told me I wasn’t.”

So the Police Officer from the night before shows up and he tells us that he talked to the busing supervisor and she told him that she, the assistant principal, and the superintendent all sat down and watched the tape and that no punching was seen on it.  Also, that Timmy didn’t show any emotion, so nothing happened.  (HELLO?!?!?  HE IS AUTISTIC!!!!)  And hello, people, the boy was punching him in the seat where you can’t see it on the video camera.  UGH!  The police officer told us that it kinda looks like a boys will be boys type of thing and that if we are still uncomfortable, then Timmy can sit in the front seat.   (The front seat of our bus is where children that misbehave have to sit).  Oh, and he didn’t get to see the video either.

So that is it.  Once again, our school is more worried about covering their own asses, than in protecting a child. How DARE she question my child and tell him that she didn’t see the punching so it didn’t happen and that this isn’t bullying and only goofing around?  Keep questioning him over and over, and yes his story is going to chance, especially when you are telling him that he is wrong.  He is autistic.  He has a history of being bullied.  He will back down and tell you whatever you want to hear so that you will stop badgering him.  YOU are being a bully.  UGH!  To top it off, it was his BIRTHDAY that she was questioning/badgering him on!

I detest this school.  Not the teachers.  I do believe the teachers are wonderful.  It is the administration.  Our school is supposed to be one of the best for special needs children, but I know many parents of SN children in our district that have had to fight tooth and nail to get their child the services and protection they need.

I also know for a fact that other parents have viewed video tapes from the bus, but they will not allow me to see the ones of Timmy on the bus.

All I want is for Timmy to have safe transportation to and from school.  If he rides the BOCES bus, he does get that.  HOWEVER, when he rides the BOCES bus home from school in the afternoon, he has to miss the last hour of school to do so.  An hour out of the day, on top of him missing time in his classroom for speech therapy, occupational therapy, and resource room time.  Yes, this is detrimental to his education.  So he should SUFFER because the school can’t keep him protected from the bullies on the bus?

I’ve asked for an aide to be on the bus, but was denied.

We have contacted a special needs lawyer that we had consulted before regarding issues with this school.

All I want is for him to be safe.  why can’t they do that?