This is an update to my previous post, Another Bout Of Bullying.

The Asst. Principal called me to talk some more about the bullying incident with Timmy on the bus.  I told her that I was upset that she had told Timmy that he was not bullied and not punched.  She said that [...]]]>

This is an update to my previous post, Another Bout Of Bullying.

The Asst. Principal called me to talk some more about the bullying incident with Timmy on the bus.  I told her that I was upset that she had told Timmy that he was not bullied and not punched.  She said that she asked him to show her how the other boy had punched him, and he lightly put his hand on her belly, so that wasn’t a punch.  She did not see him get punched on the video, but when I asked if it was possible for the boy to punch him without being seen, she did say that she couldn’t see behind the seats.  She admitted to telling Timothy that he was not bullied.  She informed us that Timothy could be in as much trouble as this other child if she informed his parents, because he had pushed the other child back.  She reiterated that she had questioned him and his story had changed.
First, let me just remind you, my son is Autistic.  When he gets angry or hurt about something, if he is in a place that he is not comfortable with, he will normally hide those feelings.  Those feelings only come out later when he had a meltdown at home.
Second, when my son was asked to show her how the other child punched him in the stomach, did the assistant principal expect him to haul off and punch her?
Third, my Autistic son is very much easily led and confused during conversation.  His story didn’t change because it was untrue.  His story changed, because she told him that she had seen the video and that she didn’t see him get punched.  His story changed, because she kept asking him the same questions, but wanting different answers.
Right now the Asst Principal and I have set it up that Timothy will be riding the BOCES bus again for the next three weeks.  This means he will be missing an hour of school every day.  At the end of that three weeks, she said she would ride the regular bus with Timothy so that she could teach him how to behave on the bus.
She told me that because of his disability that he can come off wrong or annoying to other children.  He needs to learn proper bus etiquette.
My take on this is, he is Autistic and will never be totally socially proficient.  No matter how much my son may be annoying another child, that never gives that other child the right to hit, kick, punch, spit on, or taunt my son.  My son is being punished for being Autistic.  His social ineptitude, which is part of his Autism, is what is being blamed for these other children hurting him physically and mentally.
We are being forced to make a decision to either make him miss an hour of school every day, or be traumatized on the normal bus by other children.  He already misses classroom time by going to speech therapy and occupational therapy.  On top of that, he will now be missing the last hour of classroom time.
What I want for Timothy, is to just be protected while he is in school custody.  I want him to be safe and feel safe on the bus, as well as in school.  I don’t believe that I’m asking for too much on that.
What I’m asking of the school is this.

1. Provide Timothy with safe transportation.  I request that either an aide be put on the normal bus to ensure his safety, or the school provide him with an alternate form of transportation that does not require him leaving school early.

2. Investigate the transportation department.  In the last four years, I have called the busing supervisor over 20 times to complain about children hurting my son, and there have been no reports written up.  There is no documentation done.

3. Further Autism training for all employees of CLCS.  This would include bus drivers, transportation supervisors, administration and more.  To have it said by a few people that my son was not bullied because he showed no emotion, tells me that these individuals are not very knowledgeable about Autism.  To be told that because of my son’s disability, he comes off as annoying to other children, and use that as an excuse to why he is bullied is unacceptable.

Now if I could only find a way for them to truly hear me, and do what I ask.  I feel like I’m fighting a battle under water.  Everything I say to them is coming out garbled, and every time I push forward, the current pushes me back.  *sigh*

Last year when we were setting up Timothy’s IEP we had decided that he would ride on the BOCES bus to and from school, with the hopes of transitioning him to the regular bus during the school year .  A few weeks into the school year, Timothy’s teacher contacted me and let me know [...]]]>

Last year when we were setting up Timothy’s IEP we had decided that he would ride on the BOCES bus to and from school, with the hopes of transitioning him to the regular bus during the school year .  A few weeks into the school year, Timothy’s teacher contacted me and let me know that she didn’t think that him riding home on the BOCES bus was working well for him, because it was making him lose an hour of school every day, since the BOCES bus left school year every day.  Timmy wasn’t ready to transition to the regular bus at that time, so I agreed to pick him up from school everyday, until he was ready to do the transition.

Two weeks ago Timmy informed me that he was ready to start riding the regular bus home from school.  I let the school know, and Timmy took that big step back onto the bus that he had been so traumatised by before.

Last week, one of the kids that had previously bullied him, was spitting on his fingers and shoving them into Timmy’s ears and mouth.  I told Timmy to make sure that he let the bus driver know.

At the end of his first week, we received a phone call from the assistant principal, stating that Timmy was bouncing from seat to seat and disturbing the bus.  As we are not a family to let our boys get away with misbehaving, we laid down the law with him.  He lost his privileges over the weekend, had to write “I will not misbehave on the bus” 50 times and had to write an apology letter to his bus driver.

Thursday I met the boys at the bottom of the driveway as they got off the bus.  We had some errands we had to run.  As soon as Timmy got into the van he started getting very upset, and looked to be on the verge of having a meltdown.  I asked him what was wrong and he told me that Josh had punched and pushed him.

I asked him to tell me exactly what happened.  “I got on the bus and there weren’t any places to sit, so I had to sit with Josh.  When I sat down, Josh told me to move.  I told him I couldn’t.  He told me to move again.  I told him no.  I didn’t want to move and get in trouble again like I did last week.  Josh punched me in the stomach.  I still wouldn’t move.  Josh punched me and punched me and punched me and punched me.  I still didn’t move.  So he shoved me out into the aisle and I bumped into Abby.  Abby yelled at him to stop it.  Niko was watching, too, and said to stop.  I told him to stop because I was going to get mad and he didn’t want to see me get mad.  Josh kept pushing me.  He was pushing me with his feet and his head and his hands.  I used my strong muscles to stay in the seat.  The punching didn’t hurt too much.  Just some.  It just scares me.  And when he pushed me out into the aisle it really scared me.”

At this point, I reminded him to practice his deep breathing, as it always seems to calm him down.  Niko chimed in at that point and told me that he had seen it all, and that Timmy was telling the truth.

I let my husband know what had happened, and he called and left a message with the school that, once again, Timmy was getting bullied on the bus.  That he wanted something down about it.  That we would be calling the police about it.

We did call the police and they came out later that night to get a statement.

The next day my husband called the busing supervisor to make sure she had gotten his message.  She did.  She stated that she had watched the video tape and that she didn’t see the boy punch Timmy, nor did she see anything else happen.  Timmy seemed fine on the video and got off the bus without looking upset.  Nothing happened.

My husband was upset, because something HAD happened, so she transferred him to the assistant principal to talk.  He left a voicemail for her.

The assistant principal called us back a little later.  She informed us that she had talked to Timmy about what had happened.  She questioned him about it, and at first he said that he was punched and pushed, but the more she questioned him, the more his story changed, until he agreed that he had been pushed, but not punched.  She told us that she told him she had seen the video and did not see him get punched.  She did see the boy push Timmy out into the aisle and make him bump into another child.  (Hmm, but the busing supervisor from earlier told us that she had watched the video and NOTHING happened).  She also told us that this was a case of the boys goofing around, and that Timmy had pushed the boy back at one point, so they were both at fault.  The end.  She said that it was obvious that nothing had happened to hurt Timmy, because Timmy did not show any emotion about it on the bus.  He didn’t seem distraught or crying or anything…. therefore he was not really hurt.  We did tell her “You do realize he is Autistic, right?  He shows no emotion and then has a meltdown later when he feels he is in a safe place to do so.”  She ignored that.  She informed us that he could go back to riding the BOCES bus.  We told her that his teacher felt he was missing too much school by riding the BOCES bus, and he shouldn’t have to miss an hour of school everyday because the school wouldn’t protect him.  She informed us that they were, and that she would forward our complaint on to the superintendent.

When Timmy got home he told us that she had taken him into a room by himself and she told him that she had watched the video and that he wasn’t punched on the video.  She told him that he WAS NOT bullied, and that this was just goofing around.  He says “So I wasn’t punched and I wasn’t bullied.”  I said, “Ok.  Is that how you feel?”  He said, “Well she said I wasn’t punched and I wasn’t bullied.”  Me “Were you punched?”  Him “Yes, but she says I wasn’t and I wasn’t bullied.”  Me “Ok, but were you punched?”  Him “Yes”.  Me “Did you feel scared?”  Him “Yes”.  Me “Did you feel like you were being bullied?”  Him “Yes.  But I guess I was wrong about it all, because she told me I wasn’t.”

So the Police Officer from the night before shows up and he tells us that he talked to the busing supervisor and she told him that she, the assistant principal, and the superintendent all sat down and watched the tape and that no punching was seen on it.  Also, that Timmy didn’t show any emotion, so nothing happened.  (HELLO?!?!?  HE IS AUTISTIC!!!!)  And hello, people, the boy was punching him in the seat where you can’t see it on the video camera.  UGH!  The police officer told us that it kinda looks like a boys will be boys type of thing and that if we are still uncomfortable, then Timmy can sit in the front seat.   (The front seat of our bus is where children that misbehave have to sit).  Oh, and he didn’t get to see the video either.

So that is it.  Once again, our school is more worried about covering their own asses, than in protecting a child. How DARE she question my child and tell him that she didn’t see the punching so it didn’t happen and that this isn’t bullying and only goofing around?  Keep questioning him over and over, and yes his story is going to chance, especially when you are telling him that he is wrong.  He is autistic.  He has a history of being bullied.  He will back down and tell you whatever you want to hear so that you will stop badgering him.  YOU are being a bully.  UGH!  To top it off, it was his BIRTHDAY that she was questioning/badgering him on!

I detest this school.  Not the teachers.  I do believe the teachers are wonderful.  It is the administration.  Our school is supposed to be one of the best for special needs children, but I know many parents of SN children in our district that have had to fight tooth and nail to get their child the services and protection they need.

I also know for a fact that other parents have viewed video tapes from the bus, but they will not allow me to see the ones of Timmy on the bus.

All I want is for Timmy to have safe transportation to and from school.  If he rides the BOCES bus, he does get that.  HOWEVER, when he rides the BOCES bus home from school in the afternoon, he has to miss the last hour of school to do so.  An hour out of the day, on top of him missing time in his classroom for speech therapy, occupational therapy, and resource room time.  Yes, this is detrimental to his education.  So he should SUFFER because the school can’t keep him protected from the bullies on the bus?

I’ve asked for an aide to be on the bus, but was denied.

We have contacted a special needs lawyer that we had consulted before regarding issues with this school.

All I want is for him to be safe.  why can’t they do that?

The next time you walk into Walgreens to get your prescription filled, you may be told that they no longer accept your card, if you use Express Scripts.  Walgreens and Express Scripts spent [...]]]> This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Walgreens. All opinions are 100% mine.

The next time you walk into Walgreens to get your prescription filled, you may be told that they no longer accept your card, if you use Express Scripts.  Walgreens and Express Scripts spent a year trying to come up with an agreeable contract, but Express Scripts refused to negotiate

To every Walgreens customer with “Express Scripts” written on the back of their card, this can be a huge deal.  Having that local pharmacist that understands you and your medications is important.  When you trust your pharmacist, and have been loyally going to them for years, to be told that you can no longer use your card with them (which for most means they cannot afford to go there), it can be extremely stressful.

Walgreens is going to try to do everything they can to help you to be able to either stay at their pharmacy, or to make the transition to another pharmacy as stress free as possible. 

If you guessed that the reason behind this is money, then you would be right.  Express Scripts customers will not see a drop in prices by going to other pharmacies, as a matter of fact, there may be an increase in prices.  Express Scripts, themselves, will see an increase in the money they make, because more customers will turn to their mail order 90 day refills, which is their money maker.

Did you know that Walgreens offers a 90 day refill, too?  Theirs isn’t through the mail, though.  You walk up (or drive up) and see your pharmacist face to face.  This is what Walgreens is about.  Having a local pharmacist there, 24 hours.  Someone you can count on.

Because Walgreens is so worried about its loyal customers possibly having to go the mail order route, or switch to a different pharmacy, they are offering a discount on their Walgreens Prescription Savings Club for the month of January.  For $5 for an individual or $10 for a family, you can join the Walgreens Prescription Savings Club (normally $20 and $35).  With this club, you will receive discounts on over 8,000 medications. 

If you are a customer of Walgreens that uses Express Scripts, I urge you to go in and talk to your Walgreens pharmacy associate about what options are available to you.  They want to help you.

Show your support by liking Walgreens on Facebook and following Walgreens on Twitter. 

Pinterest has taken the internet world by storm, and most especially, the blogging world.  If you haven’t started using Pinterest yet, you are missing out on so much awesomeness!

So … I have this slight obsession. Well, perhaps it isn’t a slight one. Ok, I admit, it is a huge obsession.

Pinterest has taken the internet world by storm, and most especially, the blogging world.  If you haven’t started using Pinterest yet, you are missing out on so much awesomeness!

One of my favorite things to do is to create something inspired by a project, photograph, tutorial, or recipe I’ve pinned on Pinterest.  You can see a couple of the things I’ve done here and here and here.

And boy do I know you’ve been doing the same thing.  How do I know?  Because EVERYONE seems to be talking about it.

So now I’d like to see some of the things you’ve done.  I want to see meals, clothes, crafts, decor, presents, beauty … everything that YOU have recreated from a Pinterest inspiration!

<div align=”center”><a href=”http://bcuzmommysaidso.com/category/pinned-it-did-it/” title=”Because Mommy Said So”><img src=”http://bcuzmommysaidso.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/1button.jpg” alt=”Pinned It! Did It! at Because Mommy Said So” style=”border:none;” /></a></div>

This is my very first time hosting a linky party and I’m SOOOOO excited.  I’ll be doing this every Thursday, no matter the turnout!

I only have a few rules for the linky party …

1. Become a follower of Because Mommy Said So.  You can do that by RSS, Google+, or Facebook.

2. Copy and paste the Pinned It! Did It! button to your blog.  Found above and also in my sidebar.

3. Make sure you pin the actual blog post that fits the Pinned It! Did It! category and not your blog in general.

4. No links to things for sale, or to other linky parties.  If you’d like to advertise, contact me and we can set you up on here.  My advertising prices are cheap!

If you pinned your link and you don’t see it here, I most likely deleted it because you failed to follow these rules.

The boys got a Whac-a-Mole game for Christmas from my aunt and uncle.  We were playing it tonight and Snoopy joined in.  It was so funny to watch, that I had to grab my phone and take a video!  Can you hear how excited the boys were? 

THIS is the kind of family stuff [...]]]>

The boys got a Whac-a-Mole game for Christmas from my aunt and uncle.  We were playing it tonight and Snoopy joined in.  It was so funny to watch, that I had to grab my phone and take a video!  Can you hear how excited the boys were? 

THIS is the kind of family stuff I love. Hearing those belly giggles from my boys as they have fun. Watching them all enjoy something together. Spending precious time together.

THESE are the moments I cherish.

I’m a neuro-typical adult, and I know mornings are bad for me.  Just [...]]]> Mornings blow.  We all know this.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all just wake up and jump out of bed and be happy, and cheery, and ready to take on the world?  Ahh, but that isn’t real life, is it?

I’m a neuro-typical adult, and I know mornings are bad for me.  Just imagine how a morning for a child with Autism can be.

Below is a video of a mother that is facing jail time because her child with Autism has been tardy to school too many times this year.

Please watch it … and then continue reading.

After I watched this video, I sat here thinking … and worrying … and thinking … and worrying.

Timmy has quite a few tardies already this year.  It’s not because he is lazy and won’t get out of bed.  It isn’t because I’m lazy and won’t get him up and out of bed.  Each and every one of them was due to his Autism.

The Belt – Timmy has to wear a belt every day.  We have a routine that he follows when he gets home from school.  He takes his belt off and hangs it on a hook.  I wasn’t home one day when he came home and my husband didn’t instruct him to put the belt on the hook.  The next morning, the belt was nowhere to be found.  His bus comes at 730.  He was ready for the bus at 7.  He didn’t have his belt, though.  He was crying and we were looking for it.  Finally I told him he’d have to go one day without it.  We’d find it for him that day and he’d have it tomorrow.  He walked out of the house crying to go down to the bus.  When he saw the bus, though, he started screaming and hid behind my van.  He refused to go down. He missed the bus.  He ended up being tardy that day.

The Necklace- After “The Belt” we made sure to have EVERYTHING ready for him for school for the next day.  Clothes laid out.  Backpack all packed, etc.  The day before, Timmy had received a necklace from a party at school.  It was one of those cheapy mardi-gras type necklaces.  He had decided this was his new favorite thing.  When he had gone to bed that night, I had told him he couldn’t wear the necklace to bed.  When I tucked him in, he didn’t have it on.  All was good.  Except he had hidden the necklace away so his brothers wouldn’t find it, and the next morning he couldn’t remember where he had put it.  And …. we had a meltdown.

Have you ever witnessed a child with Autism have a meltdown?  This isn’t just a tantrum that a NT (neuro-typical) person has.  They honest to goodness think that the world is going to end or something.  They cannot see past this one thing.  This one thing at this time was that necklace.  Nothing, and I mean NOTHING mattered, but that necklace.

And so he was tardy again.  (Mind you, while trying to deal with his meltdown and help him find his necklace, I’m still getting the other two boys ready and out the door to their bus that comes 15 minutes before Timmy’s).

These are just two instances.  We’ve had others that centered around … socks that were “pokey” to him.  We changed his socks 6 times, and all of them felt “pokey” to him.  We finally found a pair that he was comfortable wearing.  Him getting down to the bus and realizing that there is a tiny little water spot on his pants.  Being upset because his brother ate the last of the Fruity Pebbles and only left him Cocoa Pebbles, and even though he had Cocoa Pebbles the day before with no issues, today he will.

Oh yes, I can hear some of you saying “You are just letting him be a brat.  You need to not let him rule like that.”  I say to you … “You don’t have a child with Autism, and don’t understand.”

He is not manipulating.  I know what manipulating is.  I see it in children (including my own) quite often.  Timmy’s world STOPS.  Just stops.  There is not school.  There is not work.  There is not ANYTHING that is more important to him at that moment.  You can try to redirect.  You can try to talk him down.  Sometimes it works.  Other times, no.  Especially if I miss the warning signs and don’t get it taken care of before the meltdown goes ahead at full steam.

We get up with plenty of time for he and his brothers to get ready for school.  We get things all set up the night before, and I set breakfast up and make lunches and pack backpacks in the morning before they wake up.  This isn’t a scheduling thing.  This isn’t a lazy thing.  This is an Autism thing.

I believe the mother in the video should get a good lawyer and fight this.  I believe that a good lawyer that specializes in special needs cases could really help her.  He is late due to his special need.  They should write this into his IEP or something along those lines.

What do you think?